Why I Write

Artemis
by Olga Broumas

Let's not have tea. White wine
eases the mind along
the slopes
of the faithful body, helps

any memory once engraved
on the twin
chromosome ribbons, emerge, tentative
from the archaeology of an excised past.

I am a woman
who understands
the necessity of an impulse whose goal or origin
still lie beyond me. I keep the goat

for more
than the pastoral reasons. I work
in silver the tongue-like forms
that curve round a throat

am armpit, the upper
thigh, whose sigificance stirs in me
like a curviform alphabet
that defies

decoding, appears
to consist of vowels, the beginning with O, the O-
mega, horseshoe, the cave of sound.
What tiny fragments

survive, mangled into our language.
I am a woman committed to
a politics
of transliteration, the methodology

of a mind
stunned at the suddenly possible shifts in meaning--for which
like amnesiacs

in a ward on fire, we must
find words
or burn.

I had to laugh when I read this poem, which I received from the Academy of American Poets one day in April. The Academy was emailing one poem a day to anyone who wished to receive one during National Poetry Month:

Compulsively Allergic to the Truth
by Jeffrey McDaniel

I'm sorry I was late.
I was pulled over by a cop
for driving blindfolded
with a raspberry-scented candle
flickering in my mouth.
I'm sorry I was late.
I was on my way
when I felt a plot
thickening in my arm.
I have a fear of heights.
Luckily the Earth
is on the second floor
of the universe.
I am not the egg man.
I am the owl
who just witnessed
another tree fall over
in the forest of your life.
I am your father
shaking his head
at the thought of you.
I am his words dissolving
in your mind like footprints
in a rainstorm.
I am a long-legged martini.
I am feeding olives
to the bull inside you.
I am decorating
your labyrinth,
tacking up snapshots
of all the people
who've gotten lost
in your corridors.


From The Endarkenment, just published by University of Pittsburgh Press.

Here it is - My medallion showing that I completed the Poetic Asides (Writer's Digest) Poem-A-Day Challenge! I wrote 30 poems in 30 days, some of which are keepers. This took place during April, which is National Poetry Month. I am thrilled - the timing was perfect. I was looking for ways to get writing again after a long dry spell. Special thanks to Robert Lee Brewer, who presided over the entire event.

Today is the Sunday at church when we talk about Jesus' baptism

Here's a take on Jesus' role and mission by Andrew Harvey, who is a truly ecumenical mystic:

"What is needed on a large scale, I believe, is an army of servant-warriors for peace and justice, an army of practical visionaries and active mystics who work in every field and in every arena to transform the world.

"This is a radical vision, of course, but it is not a new one. Christ's real teaching was not about worshipping him as son of God; it was an attempt to transmit to everyone else the intimate, direct, totally transforming relationship he had himself realized with God, an attempt to empower all beings with their own human divine identity and to begin a mystical and political revolution."

Andrew Harvey, from The Direct Path

One need not be a "religious" person, of course, to become a servant-warrior for peace and justice. Those secular humanists are just as qualified as anybody! Andrew Harvey, last I checked, is not a Christian, but he is passionate about God, and he is passionate about Jesus' mission and about how Christians and non-Christians alike can live out Jesus' calling. I take his work and vision very seriously. I can go on about "consciousness," and it looks like navel-gazing; but really, I am aware at all times that the point of faith and personal individuation and therapy and prevailing over illness, etc., etc., etc., is all about peace and justice when you get right down to it. I struggle with dragging myself into activism of any kind, but I know that the little things I do in a single day - how I interact with others, or how I treat myself - is part of a larger plan. I hope someday to be a servant-warrior; but for now, with my energy limitations, I find a calling on a smaller, less warrior-like scale.

This being a Presidential election year, now is as good a time as any to leap into action. I challenge you to read the following excerpt and explore Andrew Harvey's writings and activities. If you are a Christian, check out Sojourners. If you are even thinking about getting involved in the Presidential election, find out what possible involvement you can take on. Write letters to the editor. Investigate mission work, Habitat for Humanity, the Peace Corps, Americorps, and so forth. Help out at the local domestic abuse shelter. Participate as a tutor or teacher in literacy and English as a Second Language programs in your area. Donate money to the causes you support. Help establish a scholarship program for needy students. Visit people who are lonely.

If you are unable to do much due to disability of whatever kind, remember that being kind to yourself is a huge gift to the world. Loving oneself builds a sturdy, useful bridge to everyone you encounter. And it is a holy thing to accept love from other people, even if you don't have much to give in return. Love is love, no matter which direction it is flowing.

Baptized or no, we are called to take action as demonstrated by Jesus in his life after he was baptized.


*****

Here is a summary of Andrew Harvey's Vision for Sacred Activism (lifted from his official web site):

VISION

The journey of my work and of my inner understanding has led me to the vision that will now occupy the rest of my life: That of Sacred Activism. I am in the process of founding a school for sacred activism which will be part of The Center of Spiritual Democracy, of which I am the Executive Director www.spiritualdemocracy.org. The Center for Spiritual Democracy is dedicated to the re-envisioning of American Democracy at all levels. My school of Sacred Activism will be one of its central and essential programs.

Everyone whose eyes are open knows the world is in a terrifying crisis. As many of us as possible need to undergo a massive transformation of consciousness and to find the sacred passion to act from this consciousness in every arena and on every level of reality. It is my deepest belief that only Sacred Activism – the fusion of the deepest mystical knowledge, peace, strength, and stamina with calm focused and radical action – can possibly be of use now. A mysticism that is only private and self-absorbed leaves the evils of the world in tact and does little to halt the suicidal juggernaut of history; an activism that is not purified by profound spiritual and psychological self-awareness and rooted in divine truth, wisdom, and compassion will only perpetuate the problem it is trying to solve, whatever it’s righteous intentions. When, however, the deepest and most grounded mystical vision is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing political, economic, and social institutions, a holy force and power of wisdom in action is born, a force and power that can re-fashion all things in and under God, and bring humanity, even at this late desperate hour, into harmony with its self and original nature. This force of Sacred Activism I believe will be the source of the birthing power that humanity will need to create a new world from the smoking ashes of the one that is now passing away.

Hildegard of Bingen, a great Sacred Activist of her time, wrote; “Humanity, full of creative possibilities, is God’s work. Humanity is called upon to assist God. Humanity is called to co-create with God.” These words by the great 12th century Christian woman saint challenge us all, whatever our religious or spiritual belief, to do three linked things: to uncover our own divine nature through prayer and meditation, to attune our hearts and will to the will of God for the transformation of the earth, and to devote and pour out all our God-given life energies in creativity, service, and justice-making so that divine reality can be increasingly embodied in the world.

And let all of us who see the seriousness of our contemporary situation, and also the extraordinary possibilities of a new order join together as Sacred Activists to do all we can with all we are and have to transform the crisis and the world.

by Andrew Harvey

Prayer

...I have learned that prayer is not asking for what you think you want but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine. To be made more grateful, more able to see the good in what you have been given instead of always grieving for what might have been. People who are in the habit of praying - and they include the mystics of the Christian tradition - know that when a prayer is answered, it is never in a way that you expect.
-Kathleen Norris, from Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith

A poem read on "The Writer's Almanac" on National Public Radio

Trees

To be a giant and keep quiet about it,
To stay in one's own place;
To stand for the constant presence of process
And always to seem the same;
To be steady as a rock and always trembling,
Having the hard appearance of death
With the soft, fluent nature of growth,
One's Being deceptively armored,
One's Becoming deceptively vulnerable,
To be so tough, and take the light so well,
Freely providing forbidden knowledge
Of so many things about heaven and earth
For which we should otherwise have no word-
Poems or people are rarely so lovely,
And even when they have great qualities
They tend to tell you rather then exemplify
What they believe themselves to be about,
While from the moving silence of trees,
Whether in storm or calm, in leaf and naked,
Night or day, we draw conclusions of our own,
Sustaining and unnoticed as our breath,
And perilous also - though there has never been
A critical tree - about the nature of things.

by Howard Nemerov,
from The Collected Poems of Howard Nemerov,
© University of Chicago Press

Living each day

"How we spend our days is how we spend our lives," writes Annie Dillard. I have this motto posted in my home in not one, but two, rooms. Time moves so fast, and it's easy to let so many opportunities escape because we didn't simply do anything about them. Mañana, mañana - tomorrow, tomorrow…. Of course, we Americans are so activity-driven that it is difficult to make out that slender line that separates a full life from a life which is simply too busy.

I tend to drive myself hard. I come down hard on myself for not accomplishing more, even though I face very real physical limitations. I am my own worst castigator. In a sense, I should not even have this Annie Dillard quote on my walls (in two rooms, no less!) since a sense of urgency is not always a good thing. Sometimes a different approach is required.

Here's a quote that illustrates one part of what I mean:

"It is not what happens to us in any day that gives content to our lives, but whether or not we let its experience sink into us. …It is one of the highest powers given to anyone. In reflection I come upon feelings that I had been too afraid to experience in the moment. In the quiet of reflection I take the risk and the time to let censored thoughts as well as feelings into consciousness, to discover what is causing the uneasiness in me." - Elizabeth O'Connor, from Cry Pain, Cry Hope

Or, as Diane Ackerman is recorded as saying:

"I don't want to come to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."

It all seems to come back to this idea of Consciousness. I think we have Jung and his successors to thank for this idea. Perhaps Freud got there first (?), but Carl Jung expanded the idea of what we now call personal growth and integration to include not just individual egos, but the entire human race and its relationship with God. If all these ruminations on personal growth seem self-centered, that observation has merit. But when you truly get your own house in order, you discover that you are part of a community of souls, if you will. You learn to help others get their own houses in order. At some point you become aware of the need for our World to have its house in order, and it can't accomplish that alone. At least that's what I believe.

The winter holidays just came and went. It's a complicated time of year for many people, whatever their faith or tradition. Here's what I wrote to a friend shortly before Christmas:

"I want to hear about the wonder and mystery of a vulnerable child coming into this world to change it irrevocably. I enjoy the excitement of the children; the extra time spent together with loved ones, be they family or friends. But I think, too, about the negative things - the pain of poverty at this particular time of year; dysfunctional families living out their psychodramas in reunions (or in estrangement) year after year; people in mourning; people who scared or lonely. And all the other human miseries.

"Evil with a capital "E" - can Christmas truly bear up under so much pressure? Pressure to live up to the mythic, sometimes real, Holiday Cheer while also bearing on its shoulders all the deprivation and depravity? Can it really? I want to believe it."

My friend replied:

"I share, I think, every difficulty you mention. The depth and scope of human depravity is simply unspeakable and unimaginable. I'm reading [an author] who mentions that all the natural disaster that have befallen humanity are by far eclipsed by the cruelty which human beings inflict upon one another. Christmas cannot simply overturn this burden. It is, I hope, God's foothold in the world, the beginning of the undoing of death and evil. But as yet the world is still very deeply disturbed. That is why--and I am not concerned about absolutely literalism here--Christians (like Jews) are still waiting. We await for the end of time, the fulfillment of God's righteousness, which, in the meantime, it is our task, under God's grace and protection, to implement by whatever small degree. Evil horrible and burdensome and crushing. But it cannot quench love--so I hope and believe."

Our conversation was a bit grim - Christians usually leave such subjects for Lent. But I include it to make a point: So much human misery is accomplished by people with little or no consciousness. Conscience comes into play, too, but here I do mean consciousness. People who are unaware - psychospiritually unconscious - hurt themselves and those around them without even realizing that, firstly, they are actively participating in a misery of universal proportions; and, secondly, they have a choice.

Each day, we each have a choice to live a life with reflection or with fear. Reflection means looking carefully at our actions, thoughts, and feelings despite the fear of what we may find - or what we may not find, despite our fondest hopes. Living a reflective life brings about personal growth, and personal growth, by dint of the interconnectedness of all our lives, leads to larger and larger circles of healthy living. One person's personal growth is one more foothold for God as God seeks to express Love and spread enlightenment in the world.

So one need not write the Great American Novel or create the next amazing space telescope (now that the Hubble is winding down) to change the lives of great numbers of people. One can simply to tend to one's well-being, and a better world will be the result.

But the catch in all this? Don't forget to be aware of one's conceit in thinking that you, personally, are playing a huge role. Try to hold that dichotomy in balance - living a more conscious life because not only will it make you happier, it will also help move humankind along; at the same time, relinquishing this grandiosity as a necessary step toward true consciousness.

There really are people who change the world quite directly in a famous way. Maybe you are, in fact, the next Big Thing! I won't try to stop you. But authentic, lasting, positive leadership comes from those who live a reflective, conscious life.

So: Take a risk and so take some quiet time each day to reflect. It's a scary proposition, but within it you will find a way to gently push fear aside, even if only for that hour. Make a habit of reflection, and fear will learn to stand aside whenever the circumstances call for action.

Easy for me to say, harder for me to prove. But I try, too, and have seen other people firsthand who have had their lives transformed by such advice. It may sound like I'm reneging on my promise in the previous post about "secrets" versus "mystery," but I'm not. There are plenty of "recipes" for attaining peace of mind or enlightenment or consciousness…. But the Mystery is that God, or whatever you wish to call that universal being or energy, responds quickly each time you step aside and reflect. You just gave God another foothold, and believe me, God takes it. What a beautiful way to make use of one's day!

Happy New Year!

"Nothing should be prized more highly than the value of each day."
(Goethe)

"How we spend our days is how we spend our lives."
(Annie Dillard)

Don't postpone joy!
(Bumper sticker)

Peace be with you today -
Elizabeth

Taking Chances

It has been a while since I last posted to this blog. I couldn't access my blog to create new posts. But I'm back, thanks to the inspiration of "Worder." (Check him out at http://worder.blogspot.com/ )

I heard a sermon recently (November 4, 2007, to be exact) where the preacher talked about secrets. Secrets, as in secrets to being the best salesman you can be; secrets to long-lasting love; secrets to taking off the weight and keeping it off; secrets to decoding the opposite sex; secrets to the physics of the universe. But, the preacher said, Jesus's message to His followers was not a collection of secrets which would get them into Heaven; rather, the Big Secret is actually a Mystery.

I thought about that statement and the sermon as a whole. I thought about it all week, until finally I was able to pick up a copy of the sermon the following Sunday.

The Gospel reading that day was the Parable of the Growing Seed (Mark 4:21-29): He also said, "The kingdom of God is as if someone would scatter seed on the ground, and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how. The earth produces of itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full grain in the head. But when the grain is ripe, at once he goes in with a sickle, because the harvest has come."

As the preacher I heard pointed out, Jesus here does not give gardening tips or specific instructions--no secrets are being given away here. But Jesus describes what happens in the Kingdom of God every day, including this day. If you scatter your seeds on the ground about you, they will grow. (This isn't the parable about where best to sow seeds.) You go about your life the best you can, perhaps even in spite of your best - or worst - intentions: "The earth produces of itself."

I mention one's worst intentions because so many people sabotage their own lives. People with low self-esteem are prone to flagellating themselves at every sign of hope. People who are afraid of success because success can turn into failure at a moment's notice, they, too, sabotage their own happiness. People addicted to whatever they are addicted, either physically or metaphorically, give in again and again because the addictive forces are so often overwhelming.

But despite all that - whether ignoring the seeds that are growing, trying to coax them, or trying to uproot them - the earth produces of herself. The kingdom of God is happening, and no one can stop it. It grows as we sleep; it grows while we weep; it grows even if we sow the fields with salt in a futile attempt to suppress the earth's ability to regenerate.

So, in a way, the Mystery is that God loves the world, and nothing will prevent God from bringing that world to fruition. Ignorance, fear, suppression - does that sound familiar if you have been reading the latest news stories?

But that doesn't take us off the hook. We each have a role to play in this kingdom of God, and we are to do the best we can. We must come into Consciousness with a capital "C". Just as we grow up and mature in mind and spirit, we become more conscious of who we are and of which parts we carry are not truly of ourselves. We shed layers upon layers of mistakes - our own, our parents', our Church's, our government's - even humanity's. We examine these layers as they slough off - it's a bit of a rough process, though, if you've ever watched a snake work free from her old skin. You don't even realize how constricted and "dead" you feel until that old skin comes off. And once it's off, you are amazed to discover that that psychospiritual "itch" that just wouldn't go away was God's way of telling you it's time to let something go.

When you get that itch, trust that God is taking care of the garden - it will grow no matter what, always there to sustain you. Trust that your mistakes will be forgiven (forgive yourself ahead of time, if that helps). Know that you will ultimately be safe. The kingdom of God is happening - and, no matter what you may think, you do not have the power to stop it even if you accidentally mess up your portion of the workload. Take a chance. If you take good care of yourself (work toward Consciousness with a capital "C") and leave the rest up to God, the garden will still be growing toward fruition, and you will be made new again.

Feel that itch?

It's time to let something go.